Howver, once upon a time, our aspiring theocrat and wannabe "Pope of Your Pants" gleefully advocated and profited from -- the business of watching sweaty, well-built men rolling around on the floor in tights. That's right. Rick Santorum once proudly defended the rights of two, pumped-up, greased males to grope each other's biceps and pectorals -- and the rights of one man to press his tight gluts against another man's thrusting, turgid groin.
For the record, when Rick Santorum was practicing law (with his elitist degree he got in Law school, the snob!) his biggest client was World Wrestling Entertainment -- a.k.a. the World Wrestling Federation. While representing the WWF, Santorum worked tirelessly to shield the WWF from federal regulations banning the use of steroids in sports. But that crafty Santorum, lobbied hard to circumvent these laws by arguing that since wrestling was not a "sport" the steroid rules should not apply. Plus, without steroids -- where would we go to ogle massive chests and strong, manly thighs? GAY PORN?