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Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Lynn Forester De Rothschild's Hermes Birkin Is Fake (Just Like Her)

Lynn Forester De Rothschild -- the Facial Merkin wonders if you know that name? I didn't think so. First of all -- she's a Lady. Andy by "lady" I don't mean in the "I have a vagina, ergo I should be Vice President" sort of way -- but more in the "I married some titled, foreign rich dude so now you can suck it" sort of way.

Next, you should know she was one of Hilary Clinton's biggest fundraisers. She wrangled her rich cronies into coughing up over $100,000 to support Mrs. Clinton's run for the White House. But now...? She supports John McCain. Why, you ask? Did she have a labatomy? No... It's because she thinks Barack Obama is (wait you'll love it!) an.... ELITIST!

That's right. Mrs De Rothschild... Oh...?! Pardon moi! I meant to say Lady De Rothschild is just one of us folks. Didn't I see her lingering over the half-price tube socks bin at Walmart just this morning? She's all about simple values like: royal titles, owning banks, telecommunications companies and diamonds bigger than your head. Shucks...

Because when it comes to government, here's what I want -- AVERAGE. Just average for me. I wouldn't want anyone spectacular or well-educated running this popsicle stand we call a country. None of those Harvard schmucks need apply. I want me someone who graduated at the bottom of their class. Better yet, I want someone with a trade school education. How 'bout a beauty school dropout?

What Lady De Rothschild's real problem is (besides a face like a wolverine's scrotum) is that she didn't get her way. She doesn't really give a crap about who gets elected -- only that she feels like she has some say in the matter. So she took her gold-plated toys and ran home.

Let me be crystal clear on one matter and I'll make sure the crystal is Baccarat so you can stand to touch it -- you are NOT "one of us." You are an arrogant child who needs to misuse her perceived power by appearing on CNN to try to undermine the candidate of the party you claim to support because it will affect your tax bracket favorably.

Here's a suggestion, why don't you shove your botoxed face back up your leathery, old ass. If we want to hear from you we'll give you a small kick and you can rattle your jewelry.