Monday, February 27, 2012

Rick Santorum Defends Sweaty Men in Tights

Does it strike you as peculiar that Rick Santorum has such a hard-on for talking about homosexuality? Just my opinion of course, but I just find it hard to believe that anyone who is that preoccupied with anuses (and the men who love them) doesn't have some sort of complex. In early childhood development we would call it the "anal stage." In the adult phase, I think it smacks a great deal more of repressed homosexuality. But you make up your own mind.

Howver, once upon a time, our aspiring theocrat and wannabe "Pope of Your Pants" gleefully advocated and profited from -- the business of watching sweaty, well-built men rolling around on the floor in tights. That's right. Rick Santorum once proudly defended the rights of two, pumped-up, greased males to grope each other's biceps and pectorals -- and the rights of one man to press his tight gluts against another man's thrusting, turgid groin.

For the record, when Rick Santorum was practicing law (with his elitist degree he got in Law school, the snob!) his biggest client was World Wrestling Entertainment -- a.k.a. the World Wrestling Federation. While representing the WWF, Santorum worked tirelessly to shield the WWF from federal regulations banning the use of steroids in sports. But that crafty Santorum, lobbied hard to circumvent these laws by arguing that since wrestling was not a "sport" the steroid rules should not apply. Plus, without steroids -- where would we go to ogle massive chests and strong, manly thighs? GAY PORN?

So whether it's lobbying hard against the rights of two men rolling around on a bed -- or lobbying hard for the rights of two men rolling around on a mat -- it does seem that Santorum is always "lobbying hard" for something to do with men rolling around together.

But like I said earlier, you make up your own mind.